edit essay help

| January 5, 2016

Editing an essay.

 

requirement:

 

For the peer reviews, make sure to be as specific as possible. If you tell your partner, “You have some grammar errors,” it’s not all that helpful. Instead, point out a specific error, especially one you see often. Give them a specific sentence that they should look at, maybe read out loud, and, of course, revise. For this peer review, I will hold people accountable for their level of specificity with their comments.

 

Also i will upload the example, please do it looks like that.

Attachments:Patricia Karaffa

Professor Monica D’Antonio

English 101 – Rough Draft – Essay #2

January 2, 2016

TITLE

When we are born, the first thing that happens in our precious lives, is that we are placed on our mother’s bosom.  The immediate contact, immediate skin to skin connection, immediate breastfeeding is the first bonding experience we will ever have.  It has been suggested that prompt breastfeeding after birth has a multitude of healthy benefits for both the mother and child.  As a baby this is the very first positive and nurturing experience they have.  Food can be sustenance, a means for survival or a source of nourishment or refreshment. But it can also be so much more; food shared with family, can be the focal point that satiates our need for love, security, and happiness.  When a family gathers for food; whether it is for daily dinner or larger celebrations, it is a great way for a family to bond.  Just like our first skin to skin contact or first breastfeeding, this willing convergence of two or more people can be a very intimate way of connecting with others.  If you harvest your own food with another family member or prepare the ingredients together; this will only increase the bonding experience.  This time spent together gives way for conversations to start which are continued right to table and possibly beyond

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Prize-winning journalist, Connie Schultz writes of her family bonding experience over something as simple as TV dinners.  Schultz’s essay, Heat, Tray, Love, details her experience and memories as a child eating these simple “no-work-no-mess partitioned meals” (115).  Schultz remembers back to when she was approximately six years of age when this tradition or ritual; as she calls it, began.  Schultz recounts the “unrivaled joy that leapt from the heart of the child I used to be whenever that ridge of aluminum prevented a triangle of peas from mingling with the triangle of mashed potatoes” (114).  With this visual mnemonic, Schultz knew what was to follow.  The newly purchased TV tray tables with “metal legs and pictures of autumn leaves on the plastic table tops” (115) would be brought out so all could gather.  This ongoing time of bonding with her family seems to rival no other.

Kate Delany, recounts a much more intimate experience of bonding with her sister.  In Delany’s poem “Ditching”; she depicts a period of time during high school when a “glut of carbohydrates” (2) was more important than High Mass.  The topics of conversation; “my best friend on coke again, your bankrupt boyfriend, our little sister’s troubled health” (10,11,12) were not meant for larger family gatherings.  These topics were much more personal and even had the ability to bond these sisters closer.  These weekly confidential and cherished instances of bonding were even continued after arriving home.  The scheduled get together used a combination of the food, the diner and even the waitress to make the bond these sisters had, even stronger.

Gabrielle Hamilton talks of geographical, generational as well as language barriers with her extended family in the excerpt from Blood, Bones, and Butter.  All of these mountains were conquered by the shared love of food.  Hamilton is used to a “stainless steel kitchen where the freezers all freeze to precise Department of Health standards” (173).  Her mother-in-law, Alda, uses crude primitive tools, methods and recipes.  Neither woman speaks the same language but they visit and bond over food.  Alda picks, peels and squeezes the food that they will use together to make a scrumptious meal.  The chef in Hamilton “longs to sharpen her knife, buy her a new one, use a cutting board to get uniform, perfect eggplant slices” (173) but she refrains since she knows that Alda has been “making it this way for fifty or more years” (173).  Despite or because of the language barrier, their “relationship really thrives” (173).  Hamilton likens the simple acts of when her and Alda “hug and cook a lot” (173) to a “greater intimacy” (173) than she has with her own husband.  The bond between Hamilton and Alda is based up the food; from preparation to the table, it is done with love in spite of the multitude of differences.

All three of these female authors have written about bonds that have been forged over food.  Schultz writes of a time when she was about six, Delany writes of her high school years and Hamilton utilizes her adulthood years.  Despite the time frame references, all three women have similar experiences when it comes to the bonds created.  The connections made with their respective family member(s) was strong, well founded, unyielding and built to stand the test of time.  These connections were built in some way on or around food.  The coming together of two or more people whether at the Golden Dawn Diner, in Puglia or over a metal legged TV table formed connections that are virtually unbreakable.  Coming together over food can do so much.  It can lead to conversation, bonding, as well as good eating habits.  Having a meal or cooking together can also start or perpetuate family traditions, promote good social skills and promote future positive relationships.  No matter our age; all of these experiences lead back to our first bonding experience over food; breastfeeding.   The initial bonding moments of skin to skin contact and breastfeeding is one of the most primal forms of caring.  As one grows; sharing a meal with someone or as a group is one of the most universal ways to bond.

Works Cited

Delany, Kate. “Ditching.” What’s Cooking? NY: Earth’s Daughters, 2009. Print.

Hamilton, Gabrielle. Blood, Bones, and Butter. NY: Random House, 2011. 171-173. Print.

Schultz, Connie. “Heat, Tray, Love.” Mirror on America. Joan T. Mims and Elizabeth M.

Nollen. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin’s. 114-115. Print.

 

 

For the peer reviews, make sure to be as specific as possible. If you tell your partner, “You have some grammar errors,” it’s not all that helpful. Instead, point out a specific error, especially one you see often. Give them a specific sentence that they should look at, maybe read out loud, and, of course, revise. For this peer review, I will hold people accountable for their level of specificity with their comments.

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